I've been increasingly uncomfortable with using my family's real names on this blog. Writing "My husband/son/daughter" is tedious, and using their initials is boring. So I've decided to give them "online nicknames" instead.
Then without further ado, let me introduce my Online Family:
My husband, Alfie Noakes. He's named after one memorable character in Peter Cook & Dudley Moore's Derek & Clive sketch. Before I met my husband, I had no idea that Dudley Moore had such a raunchy side. The first two times I listened, I was apalled (but we had just started dating, so I tried to laugh politely). The third time I listened, I "got it" -- and laughed so hard that rice came out of my nose. "Alfie" isn't your usual term of endearment, like "honey" or "sweetie" or "mother" (WTF??), but it works for us.
My daughter, The Pea, because she's our little sweet pea. We actually did call her Pea for a while (i.e. "Guess what, The Pea sat up all by herself today!" or "It's your turn to bathe Pea tonight"). We gradually stopped using the name, but I'm glad Pea gets to live on in this blog.
My son, 3Po. Actually, it might be ThreePoe or FreePo, I'm not really sure. He made this name up himself. One day, he declared, "Daddy, my name is 3Po". Every so often he slips into this alternate identity and insists we call him 3Po when talking to/about him.
My son, 3Po's twin brother, Jammy. It's my little pet nickname for him. I initially thought of Misery or Grump-pot because he is a real grouch for the first ten minutes after he wakes up, but I'm sure the Parenting Cops -- and Jammy as well -- would object if I were to label him so negatively. His choice would be "McKellan the Baseball Player", because that's his alter ego (what one twin does, the other has to do as well). But I'm too lazy to type such a long name, so Jammy it is.