How to make the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge more meaningful to your child

When I first heard of the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, my initial reaction was one of distaste.  I'm all for raising awareness for causes you care about, but I didn't like the "hey look at me, I'm so cool" part, and I didn't like the "take the challenge or donate" part.  It seemed like a case of empty actions -- if you don't donate, all you have to do is pour a bucket of ice water over your head, and you feel good about yourself because you think you've done something to help the cause?  Instead of buying a bag of ice, why not donate that money to ALS research?  Here in California, we have another issue -- we're in a severe drought, so it's a waste of water.

Letter to my sons, March 20 2014

Today is Day 2 of 3Po's and Jammy's 3-day school field trip to the Coloma Outdoor Discovery School.  The boys and I (I'm chaperoning them!) will be traveling back in time to 1849, going on hikes, panning for gold, and participating in all kinds of hands-on activities designed to teach kids about life during the California Gold Rush.  They'll have read the letter I wrote to them last night, and tonight they'll be reading the letter that Alfie wrote to them, written as though we were living in the Gold Rush era and they were away seeking their fortune.  I went the extra mile to make the letters look old, staining the paper with tea and using a vintage font (Yes, I printed the letters -- no way I'm going to hand write them!  My desire for authenticity only goes so far!).  I found a vintage postmark and stamp online and printed them on the envelopes.  I even printed out the vintage photo that we had taken in Virginia City in December.

I doubt if the boys will be feeling homesick at this point.  They'll be having too much fun, and besides, they'll have the comfort of knowing that I'm close by (even though I won't be assigned to their dorm or to their classes, so I won't really be seeing them much).  But I hope these letters remind them that we're still thinking about them and cheering them on as they have fun and learn.

Exploring STEM careers at the Expanding Your Horizons conference

A few weeks ago I wrote about ways to get girls interested in STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) careers, and I wrote about how I was keen to make sure that The Pea realizes how many opportunities there are in those fields, should she choose to pursue them.  She loves math, and she thinks she wants to work in a field related to math -- but she says science and engineering are boring. I've tried to tell her that she'll have more than her share of math if she decides to pursue an engineering degree, but she just doesn't believe me because she says her science classes don't use math at all (ahh, the arrogance of youth).

Well, if she won't listen to me, I'm hoping she might listen to other women who have pursued STEM careers.  That's why I signed us up for Expanding Your Horizons, a 1-day conference designed to introduce girls in grades 5-8 to STEM careers.  EYH holds conferences all around the country; the one we attended was held at UC Berkeley this past weekend.  The conference consists of a series of workshops run by volunteers .   Each workshop is related to a specific STEM field, and the volunteers are all professionals in that field. (Check out the full list of EYH 2014 workshops at the bottom of this post!  I copied them all down from the workshop descriptions page on the Berkeley EYH, just in case they take the page down to make way for descriptions of the 2015 workshops).  Girls who attend the workshop get to choose 3 sessions to attend.  Parents can also register for separate workshops.  The cost for girls was just $15, and the parent workshops are free.  EYH is a very popular conference. It fills up quickly, so I signed The Pea up as soon as registration opened.

How to encourage girls to pursue STEM careers

This is a sponsored post

I grew up thinking I wanted to be a doctor when I grew up.  After all, my dad was a doctor, and I was a good student like he was, so of course I wanted to follow in his footsteps!  I was in my senior year of high school before I realized I actually didn't want to be a doctor.  In my junior and senior year of high school, I realized the subject I loved the most was math. I loved how all those quadratic equations and trigonometric expressions lined up so neatly, and I was good at getting them to line up!  I decided to pursue an Industrial Engineering degree, and before my first year was over, I knew I had made the right decision.  Engineering engaged and challenged me, and I loved knowing that I could be helping make the world a better place by solving problems and applying the equations and principles I was learning.

Throughout my decision making process and throughout my college years, my gender was never a factor. Maybe it's because I went to an all-girls' high school.  Maybe it's because I was a good student.  Maybe it's because the females in my family have always been somewhat dominant. Maybe it's because the Philippines is a matriarchal society.  Maybe it's all of those reasons.  Whatever the reason, it never occurred to me that I couldn't be an engineer, or that I wouldn't do as well as the guys.  The females at the college of engineering were definitely in the minority, but we were always the best students.  So when I came to the US, the gender gap in STEM (science, technology, engineering and math) careers was not so surprising -- but the attitude towards girls pursuing STEM careers was.

To bike or not to bike?

When it comes to my kids' independence, I don't think I'm all that uptight . I have never been the type to hover over them at the playground; I preferred to sit on a bench and let them play on their own, and if they grazed their elbows or skinned a knee (or, during one memorable time, slipped, did a face plant on the metal stairs and got a black eye) themselves, well, all the better to learn their lesson the next time. As they grew older, I had no problem with drop-off parties, sleepovers or camping trips.

There's only area where I am completely paranoid, and that is letting them walk or bike to school by themselves.

Why don't our public schools have uniforms?

Today was the first day of school, and it's one of those milestone First Days of School, because The Pea is now a 6th grader. I feel like we've entered a whole new world, and in a sense, we have.  Now that she's in middle school, The Pea bikes to school on her own, she'll be moving from class to class, she has her own school locker, and she has to follow a dress code.  

Having to deal with The Pea's dress code has brought about a fresh wave of longing for school uniforms.  I wore uniforms as a schoolgirl, and all schoolchildren in the UK (where we spent 5 weeks of our summer vacation) wear uniforms as well.  Schoolwear in the UK can cost as little as £2 for a top, £3 for a pair of trousers, £4 for a cardigan, and £5 for a pinafore.  I honestly don't understand why US public schools haven't adopted the practice.  I dug out a post I wrote a few years back for the Silicon Valley Moms Blog, and I found that my post is just as relevant today as it was then.  

To celebrate the First Day of Middle School, I'm reprinting my post:

Introduce your kids to classical music at the SF Symphony

My dad loves classical music, so I grew up listening to Tchaikovsky, Beethoven, and Chopin. We listened to the Vienna Boys' Choir as much as we did to the Jackson Five, and I could hum the 1812 Overture and the Blue Danube Waltz as easily as I could sing YMCA or Tie a Yellow Ribbon. I married a man who loves the opera and has a collection of hundreds of classical albums, so it's natural that we'd want our kids to learn to appreciate classical music as we do.

'Tis better to wrap than to receive

Let's be honest: Kids get greedy during the holidays. Despite all the heartwarming Christmas specials about being all together for the holidays, kids are all thinking about what presents they're going to get or what to ask for from Santa.

We can't really blame them -- they're just following what the grownups do. Everywhere: on tv, in magazines, at the mall, it's all about sales and shopping and presents. Even us mom bloggers, with our holiday gift guides and giveaways, are perpetuating the materialistic focus.

Letter to My Daughter, March 31 1849

photo courtesy of ushistory.org
Today is Day 2 of The Pea's school field trip to the Coloma Outdoor Discovery School. By tonight she will have learned a lot about the culture of the people during the California Gold Rush through songs, skits, demonstrations and other hands-on activities.

She'll also have read my first letter, dated March 30 1849 (parents were asked to write 2 letters to their children, writing as though it were Gold Rush times and our children were out in the gold fields), and no doubt will be looking forward to receiving the second one. Since neither Alfie nor I accompanied the class as parent chaperones (not that I mind: slaving away at a learning station all day, eating hotdogs and getting 20 excited fourth graders to go to bed with no cellphone coverage or internet connection for 3 days is not my idea of fun), I figured my way of contributing to her Gold Rush experience would be to make my letters as kickass 1849-style as entertaining, encouraging and authentic as possible. You be the judge as to whether I've succeeded.

Letter to My Daughter, March 30 1849

photo courtesy of Coloma Outdoor Discovery School


Today we sent The Pea off on a 3-day school trip to the Coloma Outdoor Discovery School. For the next 3 days she'll be hiking, baking cornbread, panning for gold, and learning about life during the Gold Rush times. It's a fabulous opportunity for her to gain some hands-on learning, not to mention a sense of responsibility and independence.

To further immerse the kids in their experience, parents are asked to write two letters to their children. The letters will be given to the kids at bedtime, one letter for each night they're away. We're supposed to pretend it's 1849 and our children are actually away in the gold fields. Apparently some parents really go all out to the point of aging the paper they write on.

I won't pretend I didn't think about soaking my paper in a tea bath to give it that yellowed look, but I didn't have time, so I had to content myself with sealing the envelope with sealing wax and a signet stamper (hopefully that will merit a few "cool" points among her friends). Here's what I wrote for Day 1:

Spreading Holiday Cheer... and Zhu Zhu Pets

Zhu Zhu Pets have invaded our playroom. One hundred and four of these mechanical hamsters arrived at our home a couple of weeks ago, and they've been blocking up the heating vents and hindering our cleaner's ability to do a good job ever since. What are they doing here, you ask? Did I mistakenly type in an extra zero when ordering holiday presents? Was this my compensation for being interviewed by the San Francisco Chronicle about the Zhu Zhu Pets phenomenon? Have I decided to go into the toy store business? Or have I finally given in to my kids' desire to own a menagerie of Zhu Zhu Pets?

How to make a Peanut BETTER Sandwich

I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I don't care much for the taste of them myself, but I love them because my kids love them. Thanks to PBJ's, I have a Go To school lunch that my kids will eat any day of the year.

When school mornings get extra crazy, it's practically a given that the kids will be getting PBJ's for lunch. Because what could be easier to prepare than PBJ? Umm.... how about a pre-made PBJ? For extra lazy busy parents (like me), here's a tip: you can make the sandwiches the night before and freeze them! In the morning, you can throw them in the kids' lunchboxes and cut down on your morning rush. The sandwiches thaw just in time for recess or lunch.



If you're super super super super lazy busy, you can buy Smuckers Uncrustables, which are pre-made, frozen PBJ's with the crusts cut off. My kids love these, but the guilt of buying these became too much, and I decided to make my own frozen PBJs. Now I make a whole bunch of these in advance (about 2 loaves of sandwich bread's worth), use Press N Seal wrap to keep them airtight, and just pull them out of the freezer whenever I need them!

As I mentioned, the kids would eat PBJ's every day -- but I haven't dared test that theory, because they might get sick of PBJ's, and where would I be? So I try to limit PBJ's to once (okay, maybe twice) a week. And I try to vary the sandwich itself to make things more novel and appealing:

* I use medium-sized tortillas to make peanut butter and jelly burritos.
* I spread peanut butter and jelly on lavash bread, roll it up and cut into pinwheels.
* I use cookie cutters (Williams-Sonoma sandwich cutters rock) to cut the sandwiches into cute shapes.

Finally, I do realize that while peanut butter is a great source of protein, the jelly and white bread aren't exactly nutritious foods. So I make healthier substitutions:

* I use whole-wheat bread (or whole-wheat tortillas or bagels or lavash) instead of white.
* I use low-sugar versions of strawberry or grape jelly.
* I sometimes use fruit instead of strawberry or grape jelly. I've used raisins, sliced bananas and smashed-up blueberries, and the kids love all three.
* I sometimes cut out the bread entirely and make Ants On A Log (i.e. spread the peanut butter on celery sticks instead of bread, and put raisins on top instead of jam).


Now and then I do buy a box of white-bread, full sugar Uncrustables, and sometimes I'll even pair the peanut butter with Nutella (chocolate hazelnut spread), which pretty much turns a PBJ into dessert. But those occasions are getting rarer and rarer, and I always make sure I pack carrots or tomatoes or pepper strips or fresh fruit along with it, so the overall lunch is a healthy one. I feel good about packing better peanut butter lunches -- they work for my kids and they work for me!



This post was inspired by the Yahoo Motherboard's Topic of the Month for September: Teaching Kids Healthy Eating Habits. I am not compensated for my participation in this group but I get to belong to a group of smart, savvy moms -- which is compensation enough!

Can we start the day over again?

Today was supposed to be a fabulous day. The sunlight woke me up at 6:30am, so I was able to snooze, gain consciousness gradually, and shake that just-5-more-minutes feeling for 45 minutes. I pulled on a new pair of jeans that had been sent to me for a product review (actually they're pajamas but they look like jeans and they're decent enough to wear in public -- don't worry, I'll explain more in a future Bonggamom Finds review!) and I blessed my luck at all the little perks I receive while doing something I love (blog). The kids have been really good about dressing up and eating breakfast on time, so I was feeling really together as we walked to school.

Until I dropped Jammy off and saw all the car seats lined up in front of the classroom.

Oh crapola! They have a field trip today! I shoved Jammy into his room and ran off to chase after Jammy's classmate's mother, whom I had been talking to just outside the school grounds. I yelled at her to say she had to go home and get a car seat for her son, pronto. She thanked me profusely and ran off, leaving me feeling all pleased as punch (thinking I had done a good deed).

I hurried into Jammy's classroom to ask what time the kids were leaving. She looked at me strangely and told me the field trip is on Friday.

Huh?? So what's with all the carseats? Oh, she said, that's for Room 1, their field trip is today.

Ooooops. I guess I should have known that, seeing as I've actually volunteered to be a driver for the field trip. Double crapola.

All this time, 3Po had been patiently waiting for me to drop him off at his classroom, so I took a deep breath, took 3Po to class, then went into the school office to find the phone number of the woman I sent running back home in a panic. I called her and told her I had sent her on a wild-goose chase. She laughed and said she did wonder why the kids would have two field trips scheduled in a week (she's driving on Friday as well). Fortunately she hadn't left with her son's carseat yet.

There are some days when you really wish there were a RESET button.

It Takes a Village

Everyone has advice for new parents-to-be. Breastfeed. Co-sleep. Don't co-sleep. BPA is bad. Vaccinate. All sorts of opinions are floating in the air, no doubt bewildering to these poor expecting parents who have no idea what BPA stands for or what's in store for them. I have one piece of advice that almost everyone will agree with: Join a playgroup or a co-op or a parents group. Whether you form or join a formal group or just find a bunch of friends with kids the same age as yours, it will save your sanity. It certainly saved mine!

I met my first set of parent friends when The Pea was about fifteen months old. I started taking her to the local children's library for storytime, and I noticed a woman with a little boy. I approached them because I was positive she was Filipina; it turned out she was actually Asian American, but had married a Filipino so her son was half Filipino. That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Her son and The Pea quickly became fast friends, and soon we were meeting in the park for playdates. She introduced us to two other friends, both with little girls, and our playgroup was born.

I met my second set of playgroup friends when 3Po was about 14 months old and started biting a little girl at the YMCA gym childcare. Fortunately, her mother, the Divine Miss B, is an extremely understanding and laid-back woman, and she didn't hold 3Po's teeth against me! She had been thinking of forming a Spanish playgroup, where the parents would sing songs and play games in Spanish in order to expose our children to a second language. I quickly signed myself, 3Po and Jammy up during the mornings when The Pea would be in preschool. The playgroup was a huge success initially, but after a while people stopped offering to host, the snack brigade ground to a halt, and parents started dropping out. The ones who remained started skipping the "Spanish" part and concentrating on the "playgroup" part because it was a lot more fun than dealing with who was going to lead the group in "Uno Dos Tres" that day. The rest of the parents looking for bilingual education turned elsewhere, and we were left with a group of five moms who just really loved hanging out together.

The Pea, 3Po and Jammy are now in elementary school, and so are their old playgroup friends. They go to separate schools, and a couple have moved away from the area altogether. But they still remain friends, as do their parents, and we will always look fondly back on those days. My children (first, The Pea, and then 3Po and Jammy) always had other children to play with, so I could stop with the new-parent obsession about their social skill development. Our playdates were a regular routine that everyone looked forward to because both kids and parents knew they'd have fun. I had a peer group I could count on for sympathy and advice because they were going through the same things as I was, so I felt less isolated. And in between the conversations about teething and diaper rash and toilet training, I was actually talking about movies, food, shipping, husbands, politics, careers -- in other words, getting some stimulating, intelligent adult conversation.

I think I only have two regrets with respect to playgroups. I kind of wish we had continued with our formal Spanish playgroup -- our little group of friends could have played together at other times and still kept the bigger Spanish playgroup going. Maybe we just lacked organization, or a set schedule, or a list of tasks.

My second regret is that we never traded babysitting favors more. I would have been willing to babysit for any of my friends and I suspect they would have done the same, but they never asked me, and I never asked them either. I think that sometimes we're too afraid of overstepping our bounds and asking for favors -- so we end up hiring babysitters who cost lots of money and don't know our kids as well as our friends do. Maybe if there had been online communities for babysitting co-ops -- like a community that I was recently introduced to, HiveMoms -- it would have been easier for us to formalize things and trade favors with no reluctance or sense of overstepping any boundaries.

One thing that my playgroup experiences have proved is that having a village to raise your child really helps -- but administering that village is hard. So new parents, as soon as your baby starts letting you sleep a bit more at night, gather your thoughts and get thee to a playgroup! And consider leaving the running of that village to a community like HiveMoms -- think of them as your friendly village administrative office who takes care of the details so the only things you and your friends have to concentrate on are your children and each other.



Disclosure: This is a compensated post. I'd like to thank HiveMoms.com for sponsoring this post! HiveMoms is an online community of babysitting moms who form co-ops in order to exchange babysitting and other favors. You can find and join co-ops by zip code and by school (or form your own!), and HiveMoms keeps track of member information, babysitting "points", feedback, job requests, and everything else you need to manage your co-op. Registration is free, so sign up now!


Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed here are my own.

Ten Things I always keep in my car

I admit it, I'm a Minivan Mom. I live in suburbia and I drive everywhere, even to a friend's house three blocks away (hey, it's raining and I'm late....). What with the grocery runs and the ballet carpools and the dropoffs to soccer and basketball and skating and everything in between, sometimes I feel like I live in my minivan. Just like my real home, there's never enough space in it for all the things I want to keep in it, but there are certain things that I am willing to allot precious cargo space for. Here are ten things I try to make sure are safely in the van before I get into the driver's seat and buckle up:


10) Extra carseat
I started carrying an extra carseat in the back of my van when The Pea entered kindergarten -- when she started going on playdates and I started driving carpools for field trips. I figured it was worth investing $19.99 to be able to dispense with the hassle of arranging carseat dropoffs and pickups with other parents. Now that I have 3 kids in school, at pickup time there's always the chance that at least one of them will want to invite a friend over on an impromptu playdate. With that extra carseat in the back I get to be the cool mom and tell the friend's mother, "Sure, Billy can come home with us! I've got an extra carseat in the van so it's no problem".


9) Sunblock
Living as we do in sunny California, we take sun protection seriously. When we know we're going to outdoors for any length of time, we're pretty anal about slathering sunblock on our kids' faces, arms and legs before we even head out the door. But there are times when we're coming home from lunch at a restaurant and we decide on a whim to stop by the local playground on the way home. Or sometimes the indoor museum we're in turns out to have a pretty cool outdoor area. Or sometimes we're in a hurry and we forget. So it's nice to have a can of sunblock spray for the body and a tube of sunblock for the face (see, you never even have to get your hands all sticky). I just hope that leaving it in my closed, hot van doesn't cut the SPF level down to 2, or make the spray can explode.


8) Hats
Like I said, we're anal about the sun thing. But hats are also an easy, effective and stylish way to keep heads warm on cold, windy days (Alfie tells me that's one thing he's learned quickly now that there isn't much much hair left on his head).


7) Emergency gear
We've got enough emergency supplies in the van to prepare us in case our car battery dies (emergency jump starter), a natural disaster strikes (disaster relief kit), a snake sinks its fangs into one of our ankles, (first aid kit), a car windows shatters (the first aid kit has masking tape, and yes, this actually did happen to us once on our annual trip to Lake Tahoe), I accidentally eat shellfish (I put extra Benadryl in the first aid kit) or we get into a really, really bad traffic jam (and double-extra Tylenol).

Come to think of it, even though we have all the equipment to treat snake bites I'd still have to read the instructions on how to use it (giving the venom enough time to spread through the victim's arm and make it fall off or something). I don't know how to use the jump starter, either. And even if I did manage to figure it out there probably won't be enough power in it to jumpstart my dead cellphone, because you're supposed to charge the thing overnight every 3 months or so, and we charge it once a year, before the Tahoe trip. But illogically, it still makes me feel more secure having it there -- and if I'm not quite as prepared as I like to think, at least this stuff gives me peace of mind.

6) Diapers
Diapers really ought to fall under the "emergency gear" category, because even though my kids have been potty trained for years, there are still times when they hold it in until they're about to explode -- and full bladder plus no bathroom equals emergency. There are places in this world with no trees or bushes to hide you, and there are no empty bottles to pee into, and you'd be surprised at how much liquid a size 5 diaper can hold.


5) Extra clothes
There are times when my kids are freezing and need an extra layer of clothing. And there are times when they find themselves wet or muddy or dirty, for some reason or another (like cutting it so close that there isn't time to fish out that size 5 diaper). Rather than let them into my nice, clean van or have to give up my own coat to keep them warm (why should I go cold when I told them and told them it was fifty degrees out yet they insisted on wearing shorts?), I just keep a permanent stash of extra clothes in the back.


4) Phone charger
I can never remember to charge my phone at night, so I frequently run around during the day with a dead cellphone in my purse. My car charger is my cell phone's primary source of power; without it "What good is having a cellphone if it's always dead?".


3) Food
If I had my way I'd drive to the nearest Krispy Kreme or In-N-Out Burger every time my kids needed a snack, but because of those inconveniencies like cholesterol levels, fat and sugar content, I bow to the fact that they need healthy snacks. I like having a small stash of food in the car just in case I forget to bring snacks, or the snacks I've brought aren't enough, and no, I don't want to rely on the eat the month-old goldfish crackers wedged in the back seat. I have a feeling we'll need those for real emergencies -- no way my kids are going to eat that dried-up nutritional brick in our disaster relief kit.


2) Entertainment
I'm so happy I no longer have to carry around a basket filled with stuffed animals and duplicate lovie blankets and books and Happy Meal Toys. My kids are old enough to choose their own toys to amuse themselves on long car trips and bring them back into the house after our journey is over -- or suffer the consequences of boredom should they forget. But I do keep a notebook in the seat pocket and some colored pencils in one of the side compartments, and our center console is stuffed with assorted dvd's. Anyway, watching movies on car trips doesn't really count as tv time since it's more like a parental sanity-saving tool... right?


1) Baby wipes
I will leave the house on an empty gas tank before I leave without baby wipes, which in my opinion are God's Gift to Parents (after the babies themselves). I use baby wipes to clean everything, not just dirty bottoms and sticky hands. I use them to wipe the seats that the sticky little hands have touched before being wiped. I use them to mop up juice that has spilled on the floor. I use them to wipe off scuff marks from the floor and the backs of seats. I even use them to wipe birdshit off the windshield and the sides of the car. We park under a tree that hosts all the squirrels and birds in the neighborhood, and I don't have the time or the money to take my van to the carwash twice a week, so if it weren't for my baby wipe carwashes I'd be driving around looking like a tramp.



As you can see, that's a lot of stuff. But it's not so bad -- most of it fits in a large plastic bin that lives permanently in the back cargo area. And having these things around certainly makes mobile life more liveable. All I need now is a portable shower and I could really get comfy. Hang on, I've got an extra-large pack of baby wipes; who needs a shower?

What's in *Your* Disaster Kit?

Here in the Bay Area people like to say that it's not a question of whether we're ever going to experience a disaster, but when it's going to happen. We haven't had a major earthquake since Loma Prieta in '89 but we've had wildfires in Santa Cruz, El Nino flooding and landslides, and goodness knows what. We are fortunate that we haven't ever experienced a disaster such as Hurricane Katrina or the New Orleans flooding-- but it's important to remember that a disaster doesn't have to be a major disaster. It can be as localized as your house catching on fire. So it's important to be prepared.


In the spirit of being prepared, I attended a talk and demonstration given by the California Volunteers for Bay Area bloggers, including bloggers from the Silicon Valley Moms Blog, Techmamas, It's My Life, The Silent I, Xiaolinmama, FreitasFamily, WhosTheBoss, and our host, Citymama. Volunteers went over some tips that every family should know about being prepared for a disaster, and we walked through Citymama's chic apartment and discussed ways for her to make it more disaster-ready. I left feeling empowered with all the knowledge I had gained, and determined to do more to prepare my own family.


I won't list down everything that we went through in our demonstration -- Robyn from Who's the Boss already has a comprehensive, informative summary of our disaster preparedness talk And I won't go through all the details of what should be in your family disaster plan -- you can download everything you need from the CalVolunteers website, including a customizable book for kids. But I will go through the contents of the disaster kit that California Volunteers presented us at the end of the event. If you don't have one yet, it's super-easy to make one. Just grab a backpack and stuff it with the following supplies:



1) A flashlight and batteries. We were given a solar-powered flashlight/radio, which also had a crank handle so you could power it up by winding the handle for a couple of minutes.

2) A first aid kit. You can buy one at any drugstore, or you can assemble one yourself.

3) A blanket. The one in our kit was one of those insulating foil blankets, but if you have the space, I suppose any blanket will do. If you've ever been given one of those Slankets as a present, here's where it can go.


4) Food. That protein brick is definitely something you'd only want to eat in an emergency, so I intend to throw some energy bars into the backpack as well.

5) Water. We received water purifying tablets as well as drinking water in foil packets, but I suppose bottled water works just as well.


6) Personal Hygiene items. Everything in the photo above falls under the "What if we need to take refuge in our car or a church or a gym or some other shelter": Baby wipes, disinfecting wipes, cleansing cloths, tampons and freshening spray. I'm not suggesting you pack your entire skincare regimen, but these are small "luxuries" that will help you feel human in inhumane conditions.


Everything fits neatly into a regular-sized backpack. You should have one handy in your home, and another in your car. It's a small but significant step towards preparing you and your family for a disaster!


Can't seem to get around to putting one of these together? Would you like to receive one of these kits, all ready-made? I'm giving away 12 disaster kits on Bonggamom Finds -- head on over to my giveaway post and leave a comment to enter.

Some Thoughts on Videogame Violence

Last week we were invited by Ubisoft, a gaming software company, to their San Francisco office to check out their lineup of games for Nintendo DS before they are released this holiday season. They mentioned role-playing games and nurturing animal games that boys and girls can play, so I was intrigued. Besides, I can never resist a sneak peek, so off we went.

We were greeted at the lobby by this:

I have to say, this made me nervous. 3Po and Jammy were grinning from ear to ear at the sight of Commando Ubisoft, with his fatigues and nightvision goggles and mysterious-looking doodads strapped to his waist. My heart sank. I hope they don't end up trying out war games.

Until recently, I've been pretty negative about video games. Now that my kids have tried out video gaming systems with an educationaal slant (like the ones for the Leapster and Didj), I've loosened up a bit. Now I consider video games as a form of screen time, in the same category as tv watching, dvd watching and online gaming. It's entertainment that can help kids unwind and relax, and it's harmless in moderation, especially when the games have an educational component. These days my kids get 20 minutes to 1 hour of screen time per day. The length usually depends on how much screen time they've had in the recent past, how much homework or chores they have to do that day -- and I'll admit, how much time I need to work undisturbed. It's up to my kids to choose what form of screen time they want to engage in that day.

But we have much experience with video gaming systems for older kids like the PSP or Nintendo DS. And I still dislike videogames with violence in them. It doesn't matter that kids say they know the difference between the virtual world and the real world, that they would never consider spraying a whole field of people with bullets, or trashing someone else's car. I just think that repeated exposure to that kind of violence desensitizes them to the real thing, and when aggression is glamorized the way it is in violent videogames, kids might become more likely to react with aggression in real life situations because they have absorbed the message that it's what cool people or badasses do.

Fortunately, I'm happy to say that Commando Ubisoft did not make an appearance that day, and that Ubisoft actually has an excellent selection of nonviolent games for kids that emphasize exploration, strategy, creativity and critical thinking rather than mindless violence. And no, the games were not lame-o offerings that would put a 4 year old to sleep after a couple of days. The two games that 3Po and Jammy played definitely look like they would satisfy my young boys' obsession with battles and combat for quite a while -- because what could be more violent and destructive than dragons and dinosaurs?

I'm not naive, and my glasses are not rose-colored. I get that boys like to act out aggression and role-play good versus evil. I know combat can be rough, but at least in the two combat games that 3Po and Jammy played -- Battle of Giants: Dragons and Battle of Giants: Dinosaurs -- the violence stays firmly within a formal combat arena, and it stays firmly in the fantasy/nature realm. Dragons and dinosaurs tear each because it's in their nature to fight, and there's no question of extending this aggressive behavior towards humans. Also, both games encourage critical and strategic thinking when they allow the boys to customize their dragons or dinosaurs to emphasize certain traits that will help them win battles. Based on the 3Po and Jammy's limited experience with these games (they played for just over an hour, and most of that time was spent finding their way around since they have next to no experience playing with the Nintendo DS), I think it's a level of violence I'm comfortable with at this age.

One last point: I'm glad that Ubisoft understands that I'm not the only parent with these concerns. They're trying to get parents informed and engaged on their new Parent's Corner, a website where parents can find all kinds of information related to Ubisoft's games and video gaming in general. For example, parents can ask questions , learn about gaming safety, share experiences, and get age-appropriate recommendations for videogames for their kids. All in all, we had a lot of fun trying out Ubisoft's latest games, and I left feeling more comfortable about easing my kids (and myself) into the world of video gaming knowing that there are games out there that I feel comfortable letting my kids play.

We received sample videogames to try out, but no monetary compensation. The views and opinions expressed here are my own. Stay tuned for more Bonggamom Finds reviews of Ubisoft's lineup of Nintendo DS games for the holidays, featuring games from their Imagine, Petz and StyleLab lines.

Living in a mixed-race world

Last week Alfie sent me an article that made my blood boil. Just think -- if Alfie and I had applied for a marriage license in Lousiana instead of Nevada, we might have gotten stuck with that asswipe, he'd have refused to marry us and we'd still be living together in sin. Thank goodness Elvis is a much more tolerant justice of the peace. And thank goodness the Bay Area isn't like that. It's sad to think that he would deny us marriage because he's taking pity on our three beautiful, intelligent, confident children. And he dares to think he isn't racist.

Photo courtesy of Erinleigh Photography (and BTW Erin's own beautiful daughter is half-Korean!)

Click here to read my Silicon Valley Moms Blog post about Keith Bardell-- and feel free to leave a comment to add your two cents to the discussion!

Even kids can Do One Nice Thing

Last week I put my on my repressed little kid artist hat and painted some faces for a good cause. A good friend of The Pea and her mother have put together a wonderful program for residents of a nearby homeless shelter. This kid is a smart and compassionate little cookie, and she realizes that not every child gets to have a fancy birthday party with clowns and cupcakes. So she and her mother organized a Birthday Club where they invite friends to host birthday parties each month for kids at the shelter. Hosts provide cupcakes and pizza and tableware and decorations, and they take donations of gently used books so that each birthday child gets a nicely wrapped book as a present.

When I heard about this program, I knew I wanted to participate. When I was little and my birthday rolled around, my parents would always take us to the local orphanage to distribute ice cream cones to the children, and I always thought it was a wonderful way to teach children that blessings can be shared. I saw this as the perfect way to continue the tradition with my own children -- but quite honestly, we don't have the money to be hosting this kind of thing. So I offered to attend the party and paint children's faces, because I know every kid loves to have their face painted, and even though we don't have as much money as the people living around us, I can still contribute my time and talents and set an example of community service to my kids.

I have to say, I was delighted to find that the party -- and the face painting -- was a huge success. My table was mobbed! I stayed way past the party end time because there were still children asking to have their faces painted. I even painted the faces of some of the children of the party hosts. The children were all so excited, from the moment they began leafing through my books of designs, to sitting still (well, not so still) while I painted their face, to looking in the mirror and seeing the designs on their faces for the very first time. It was wonderful to see, and I was happy to be a part of such a special event. And I was happy that my kids were seeing me and the other moms doing something nice for other kids.

But believe it or not, even though this post is almost over and I've been blathering about myself, this post is not about the One Nice Thing that I did. Almost an hour after I was scheduled to finish up, I finally packed my painting kit up and called my kids to come with me and head for the car. When Jammy, who had been playing soccer with the other kids, heard that we were going home, his face crumpled.

Me: What's wrong, honey? It's really late, and we have to go home!

Jammy: But I don't want to go home yet! I want you to paint my face!

Me: I didn't know you wanted me to paint your face. You should have lined up, just like all the other kids.

Jammy (now crying in earnest): But I wanted to let all the kids who've never had their faces painted go first. I kept looking over to where you were and you were always painting someone else's face.

Me: Honey, I'm really sorry, but it's going to be your bedtime soon, and we have to go.

Jammy (wails): But I wanted my face painted!

Me (holding Jammy close and whispering): That was a very nice thing you did, letting everyone else go first, and I'm sorry I don't have enough time to paint your face today. But you know, Jammy, I can paint your face anytime. These children don't get very many chances to have their faces painted, and so today is for them.

Jammy (after a pause, sniffling and holding back a sob): Okay, mama, you can paint my face some other time.


I'm so proud of my son.


This post was inspired by Debbie Tenzer's Do One Nice Thing, September's choice for the Silicon Valley Moms book club. Click here to see other posts inspired by the book.

Behind the Scenes from A Byte out of Life

The Silicon Valley Moms Group and Yahoo! Video have come up with another Byte out of Life segment. This week's topic is all about Who's Following You on Twitter. It's a hilarious video featuring two of my favorite SV Mom bloggers, Jane and Beth. They look so natural on camera!

Speaking of natural, as you know from my recent Office Max experience, when it comes to the camera, nothing is as it seems. Watching this latest video reminded of me of the one I filmed with Linda and Akemi about twins and kindergarten (it debuted last week; you can still watch it here on A Byte Out of Life). I never did get around to doing posting on that here (I did do a post about it on Bonggamom Finds), so I thought I'd take a cue from my Office Max posts and give everyone a Byte of Out of Life, Behind the Camera.

First up, here's Sheila, Linsey and Myrna dishing up about kids and technology on another Byte out of Life video. When I saw how pretty they looked, I immediately wished I had put on anything other than my pair of jeans (Yes, they are my best pair, but they're still jeans. Oh well, I am a mom and that's what moms wear). They taped their segment immediately before we taped ours, so I was able to catch them on the set. Except in this case, we didn't have an actual set. We filmed at SV Mom co-founder Jill's mother's house, which is so beautiful, indoors and out, that nothing needed to be added to make it camera-ready.

I mean, come on, just look at that bougainvillea! It's like a team of gardeners worked for weeks to get it blooming just in time for the taping. The pink flowers make the perfect accent to the stucco arch, and the perfect frame for Akemi's lovely face.

Just like with Office Max, we didn't have a formal script, but we each had our own talking points and we more or less knew what we were going to say. Occasionally we had to do a retake because we flubbed our lines, or our mikes needed readjusting, or we had to cut taping while a plane flew overhead, but on the whole things moved pretty smoothly.

The series is produced by The Go-To Mom, Kimberley Clayton Blaine, who's an SV Mom herself. Here she is holding up something that looks like a car sunshade (I'm sure anyone who's into photography will have a more technical name for it) to diffuse the afternoon sunshine.

Our final segment was completely impromptu; Kimberly had us talk about anything and everything we wanted. We ended up talking about "twin skin", of all things. That's the bit of loose skin that hangs over our bellybutton -- a souvenir from our twin pregnancy that will never ever go away. Jill took this cute photo of the three of us and posted it on Twitpic. We all look great, especially since our twin skin isn't showing at all. It was a great experience and I feel really lucky that I was selected to be a part of it!