Whatever happened to my Forty before Forty List

One year ago, I realized that I'd be turning forty, so made up a list of 40 things I wanted to do before I reached that all-important milestone. Here's an update of how I've done:

Drunken College Students, cavewomen and 40 other things I saw at Bay to Breakers

It seems like people who turn forty always want to prove that they're no older or more decrepit than they were at 39 -- in fact they want to prove to the world that they're fitter, hotter, wilder, than they were the year before.  I guess I'm no exception, because I signed up for the 2012 Bay to Breakers determined to improve on last year's finish time.  But as always, I slacked off on training in the months leading up to the race and decided to walk the race instead -- and as always, ended up running it anyway.  The good news is that I managed to shave off a couple of minutes from my finish time  (1:18:51, down from 1:21:31 last year), even though I literally stopped dead in my tracks for 2 or 3 minutes to primp and groom myself before the race photographers started taking photos (I needed proof that that I was fitter and hotter than last year).

So this is what forty looks like

Way back in the old, old days, turning forty was literally the end of your world; if you hadn't succumbed to disease or childbirth or wars or starvation or complete and utter exhaustion yet, you would soon.  In our grandparents and parents day, turning forty was the end of your world, for a different reason.  At forty, you crossed into old age and became a washed working woman, a faded out housewife or a dried up old maid. Whatever your situation, you were definitely headed towards high-necked blouses and sensible heels, gentle walks or swim aerobics.  Not that any of those aren't enjoyable; the hard part was automatically being slotted into a bracket and expected to "act your age". 

What's on your running playlist?

When I got my first iPod and started listening to music while running, I couldn't believe how much more enjoyable running could be. Music truly lifts the spirits and makes the hours and the miles pass much more quickly. But you can only listen to your favorite 100 songs again and again before you end up hating those songs as much as you hate Barney the dinosaur's I Love You song. Rather than banish YMCA from my running playlist forever, I resolved to add at least 10 new songs to my running playlist before my 40th birthday.

To many people, that would be a no-brainer, but as you many have guessed, I am not the most adventurous listener. I stopped listening to the radio in my late teens, so until I started dating Alfie, my musical tastes were stuck in the 80's. Much to Alfie's embarrassment, when we married in 2000, the "new artists" in my cd collection included names like Hall & Oates, Kenny G, Barry Manilow, Duran Duran and Tears for Fears (thank goodness Madonna has reinvented herself time and time again over the years, so at least I did have 1 hip artist on my favorites list). I'd probably still be running to the same hundred songs if it weren't for these five secret sources for discovering new music:

Birthdays, Boudoirs, and Bonggamom

Figuring out what to get Alfie for his birthday is not an easy task. Clothes? He prefers to pick them out himself. Music? Same thing. Gift cards? Too boring. Electronics and other big-ticket items require a joint approval, and birthday celebrants in our family always get to pick a restaurant for dinner anyway. Unless there's something I know he really, really wants, I usually just end up giving him a card and a kiss.

I know, how boring. So this year I decided to give Alfie a birthday present that's far from boring -- a set of boudoir photos.

Forty before Forty Item #18: discovering Jammy

When I made the resolution to spend some quality time with each of my 3 kids, I knew it would be difficult. I spend lots of time with them, but it's mostly with all 3 of them. On the rare occasions that Alfie and I get our parents to babysit, or when do splurge for a babysitter, we use the time as a couple. My plan for one-on-one kid time was was to ask Alfie to watch 2 kids on some weekend, and take the 3rd one on a solo excursion, which is great in theory, but hasn't worked out too well.

Forty Before Forty Item #12: Sky High

Growing up in the Philippines, I towered over all the kids my age. Heck, I towered over kids older than me. From 1st grade until my senior year of high school, I was always the one at the back of the line, in the back row. I was always the girl who played Prince Charming in our all-girls' school plays. I was glad I wasn't short, but I felt that people who told me I was lucky to be tall had no idea what it was like. I slouched as much as I could. Heels? Hah!

Forty before Forty Item #14: Where's the Party?

Ever since I first heard about Perry Mann's Exotic Erotic ball, I've wanted to attend it. I love Halloween, I love dressing up, and I love being around folks who love to dress up as much as I do. I love a party, and it has been ages since I attended a really wild one. I love outrageous people who are true to themselves and don't care what anyone else thinks of them -- their confidence and energy are infectious! Besides, after being closeted and sheltered for so long in my life, the thought of releasing a bit of my wild and naughty side in a fun and harmless way is so appealing.

For at least a decade, I've been working up the nerve to buy tickets, but every year I found some excuse not to go:

Forty before Forty Item #30: Back in the land of the smartphone

Late last year I lost my smartphone. It literally disappeared from the face of the earth. We looked everywhere, but couldn't find it anywhere. The best theory we could come up with is that I threw it into the recycling bin one day when I was cleaning out the van. It was dark, my hands were full, I must have been holding the phone in one hand., and I guess I let go of everything in one fell swoop, and didn't realize that the phone had gone along with all the papers and pieces of cardboard and plastic. It's probably rotting in the local landfill right now, and will probably stay there for the next 99 years.

Forty before Forty Item #13: Bonggamom bares it all (well, almost)

We've just come home from an amazing Labor Day weekend trip to Reno and Tahoe. For four glorious days, we basked in the sun and had a great time. We swam in the gorgeous, Tuscan-inspired pools of the Peppermill Resort in Reno as well as the pool and hot tub at the Hampton Inn in Truckee. We rafted down the Truckee river. We splashed on the shores of Lake Tahoe, and paddled a kayak in the lake.

And I finally wore a bikini. On the last official weekend of summer!

Forty Before Forty Item #26: My clean streak continues

Boy am I glad our city's recycling department gave us the extra-super-large recycling bin. It's twice as big as our neighbors' bins, but we fill it up almost to the top each and every week. Granted, the neighbors aren't product review bloggers who get samples mailed to them all the time. Nor are they catalog addicts who can't bear to take themselves off companies' junk mail lists, nor do they have dads getting medical journals delivered to their homes every week. Nor do they hoard artwork, birthday cards and bank statements like they were gold.

Forty Before Forty Item #21: Welcome to Facebook, Dad!

My parents are not what you'd call Luddites. They have cell phones. They have a PC. They use wireless broadband. I remember my mom signing us up for computer lessons when I was just 9 or 10, and we bought our first PC in my early high school years. This was back when you needed a floppy DOS disk to book the computer up, and the only useful programs were Wordstar and Lotus 1-2-3, when computers were not an integral part of middle-class households.

That being said, they're not exactly on the bleeding edge of technology. Their cell phones are still the basic models with no internet access. They use email and my dad browses the internet to manage his financial portfolio, but I'm still not convinced they know how to get to my blog, let alone share my witty and cleverly written blog posts with their friends (what good are parents for if not to brag about their kids' accomplishments?). I'm sure they have no idea what Twitter or Skype is, because none of their contemporaries use it.

Not so with Facebook.

Forty Before Forty Item #3 and #4: Take Care of Yourself

I know it's a cliche, but most women really do seem to have the wires crossed in their brains when it comes to putting themselves first. Women take care of their kids, their husbands, their parents. They champion their local schools, the environment, hungry kids in Africa. So often, it's at the expense of their own well-being and sanity. I'm up there with the worst of them, and with all the blogging I do, it's easier than ever to put Health at the bottom of my to-do list. I have to admit, it's not all martyrdom that makes me procrastinate when it comes to making dentists' appointments, or getting a wax at the salon, or scheduling some time with friends -- laziness is a huge part of it. But whatever the cause, I need to get better at taking care of myself.

This pearl of wisdom really hit home when I finally got around to making an appointment with my gynecologist for a checkup (Item #3 on my Forty Before Forty list) and mammogram (Item #4). I knew I should have done this long ago, but I was shocked to find out that it had been almost 3 years since my last visit. Yikes! Where did the time go?

And then my doctor found a lump. Two, actually, one on each breast.

Forty Before Forty Item #25: Bye Bye Baby Toys

A few days after I posted my Forty before Forty list Alfie pointed out that if I want to do all those things before I turn forty I'm going to have to check things off at the rate of almost one per week. Yikes! I've acknowledged beforehand that it's highly likely that I won't get to every single item, but I figure I've got a decent shot at completing at least 80 percent of that list, so I'd better get cracking.

Last weekend I got the chance to cross out item #25 on my list: clean out the kids' old toys.

Forty before Forty

Judgement Day has come and gone, and we're all still here, so it looks like there's a good chance I'll live to see my fortieth year, exactly one year from today.

Wow, forty. I've been so busy living that my third decade has just flown by! I'm not too happy with some of the things that have happened to me during this period (like my feet growing a whole size, like they weren't huge enough already, or developing a pesky medical condition that has my internal thermostat constantly going haywire), but on the whole it has been a great decade, and I feel lucky to have done so many things. Here are some that I'm proudest of: