Forty before Forty Item #14: Where's the Party?
Ever since I first heard about Perry Mann's Exotic Erotic ball, I've wanted to attend it. I love Halloween, I love dressing up, and I love being around folks who love to dress up as much as I do. I love a party, and it has been ages since I attended a really wild one. I love outrageous people who are true to themselves and don't care what anyone else thinks of them -- their confidence and energy are infectious! Besides, after being closeted and sheltered for so long in my life, the thought of releasing a bit of my wild and naughty side in a fun and harmless way is so appealing.
For at least a decade, I've been working up the nerve to buy tickets, but every year I found some excuse not to go:
* It's too expensive.
* We don't have a babysitter.
* It's too cold to wear a sexy costume.
* I'm too old to wear a sexy costume.
* I'm too fat to wear a sexy costume.
* Alfie's not going to want to wear a sexy costume.
* It'll be too crowded.
* Parking will be a nightmare.
* I've heard it's not really a party, it's mostly guys in jeans taking pictures of strippers.
* I can't ask my parents to babysit while we go to an erotic party!
This May I finally added the Exotic Erotic to my list of things to do before I turn forty. I figured, it's now or never.
Looks like it's going to be Never. Wouldn't you know it, shortly after writing that post, I discovered that the Exotic Erotic Ball has been canceled. The organizers canceled it last year, just 24 hours before the event was scheduled to start! They cited poor ticket sales, cost overruns and organizational issues. Apparently the event has been pretty disappointing in recent years, with lots of transportation and parking issues combined with more spectators (i.e. guys in jeans snapping photos) than participators (i.e. people who dress up and party). The Exotic Erotic website has not changed since October 21, 2010; one of the organizers was recently sentenced for writing bad checks to pay some of their suppliers. It doesn't look they'll be holding an Exotic Erotic this year, or any year.
What a bummer. If I were a man, I'd say it was deflating news, but I'm female, so I've been left high and dry.
It looks like the only "wild" party we'll be going to this month is next weekend's pajama-party-themed school auction ball -- and I have a feeling we'll be seeing more bunny slippers and flannel pj's than kitten heels or babydoll nighties.
I guess I could look on the bright side and be glad I didn't buy tickets to last year's event. What a shambles! As far as I can tell, people did not get refunded by the party organizers; I think they had to go through their credit card companies -- and that doesn't even include any flight or hotel expenses they may have incurred already. Imagine being all set to go, with all your leather and spandex in place, then being told the party was cancelled!
Or, I could look at this as an opportunity I missed because I was too timid and nervous and cared too much about what other people thought. I should have seized the day, and now the opportunity is gone forever. Lesson learned: don't let your insecurities, doubts and fears get in the way of doing what you really want to do.
The Exotic Erotic ball was a San Francisco tradition for 3 decades, and I sure hope they find something to replace it. When they do, I'll be the first in line for tickets.