It all happened because I wanted.

For months we had flirted. At first was lighthearted, fun, mischievous. We were both in other relationships anyway. Along the way we became friends, and I discovered the perfect companion, debating partner, kindred soul. And I discovered he was single. But he was all wrong for me. And I had a boyfriend.

One night I finally agreed to have dinner with him. No big deal, we're just getting something to eat after work. It's just a dinner between two work colleagues, I told myself. Then he reached over the Chicken Masala and held my hand. Electric sparks shot through me. I didn't admit it to myself, but deep down inside, I wanted. We paid our separate checks and went our separate ways.

I was lonely and I wanted.

No, that's not true. I wasn't lonely. But still I wanted.

Another night we stayed in the office, working late. We ended up talking about this and that until everyone else had gone. It was just him, me and the janitor. Over the hum of the vacuum cleaner, he said, I'd really like to kiss you right now. This time, I admitted it. I wanted. I told him, so would I. But we didn't.

It was obscene, that wanting.

Then we walked out into the parking lot. We went to our separate cars. We looked at each other from across the parking lot. And he walked back to me. I just stood and stared. Again, the electricity. It was as though we were already kissing.

Until we actually did start kissing -- and then the sparks really flew. It was one of the best kisses of my life. I broke up with my boyfriend the next day, and the rest is history.

Italicized text was taken from Anita Shreve's novel, Testimony -- which chronicles one character's moment of temptation, one with much more tragic results than my own. Click here to see what other members of the Silicon Valley Moms Book Club have been inspired to write after reading the novel.

1 comment:

deedee said...

I loved reading this!