Last week we received some exciting news: The Pea has made the Honor Roll for the first semester of 6th grade! Truth be told, we have no idea what being on the Honor Roll signifies: whether only the top 1 or 5 or 10 percent of students get it, or whether everyone with an A or A+ or B+ grade average gets it. "Honor Roll" definitely has an air of distinction about it, but then again, in this day and age where just completing all your homework for a week can earn a kid a certificate, or just entering a tournament can earn him a medal, it's hard to tell whether this award really means something. On the other hand, The Pea is a pretty good student, and she has been bringing home mostly perfect scores on assignments. One of these days I'll get around to asking a teacher exactly what it means, but for now we are assuming it is a Big Deal, and acting accordingly.
As a reward for her accomplishment, we ate out last weekend and The Pea got to choose the restaurant, and we're giving her some money to get her a bit closer to that iPhone she's desperately saving up for. Apparently that is not enough: she wants us to get The Bumper Sticker. You know, the one that says "Proud Parent of an Honor Student at XXX Middle School" or "My kid is an honor student at XXX Middle School".
Hmmm.......um.... maybe we should tone the celebrations down?
It's not that I'm not proud of what The Pea has done. On the contrary, I'm bursting with it. But those "proud parent" bumper stickers are a wee bit self-congratulatory and smug. Not to mention tacky. And when I say "tacky", I mean "bragging to the general public, 24/7, about how smart your kid is, years after he graduated from middle school, shows a lack of humility, refinement and taste" kind of tacky, as well as "leaves behind a gummy residue even after the sticker has faded and cracked and you've sweated for hours to try and scrape it off" kind of tacky.
So to The Pea I say: I do apologize, honey, but no, thank you, I'd rather not put that bumper sticker on our van. But don't worry. I know this was a real accomplishment, and I want you to know how proud I am of you. And I do want the whole world to know how proud I am of you. I want to shout it out from the rooftops! -- but I want to do it my way. Instead of bragging via bumper sticker, I'd rather brag via blogging, via Facebook, to people who know you and love you -- friends, family, yes, even blog readers because they've followed your progress over the years! These are people who will also be proud of you and happy for you, which is why I'd rather share the news here than on a bumper sticker. After all, a bumper sticker will crack and fade away, but a blog post lasts forever.
And with that said, allow me to brag a bit. Here's MY bumper sticker!