All I want for Christmas is....

If only this fellow were the real Santa, I'd get everything on my Christmas wish list for sure!


Alfie and I have decided not to get each other Christmas presents this year. After all, we've already got each other new kitchen cabinets, a new front door, a new computer desk and a new armoire. So this year, I'll have to rely on Santa to get me all the other stuff I want for Christmas. Given what I'm asking for, I think I might need all of Santa's magical powers to make my wishes come true!

Here's what I'm asking from Santa this year:

1) An exercise bike that powers my computer -- no cycling, no blogging.

2) A tagging chip that I can insert into my kids, so I know exactly where they are at any point during the day. Bonus points for Santa if the chip includes a "panic button" option that the kids can press to alert me (and the police) if they ever get accosted by strangers.

3) An alarm clock chip that I can insert into myself, which makes me incapable of staying awake beyond 11:00PM and before 7:00AM.

4) A dog or cat who can take care of itself for up to 1 month so we can go on vacation without having to put him or her in a boarding home, or ask someone to pet sit. Bonus points for Santa if the pet can dust the furniture while we're gone.

5) A purse that changes color to match my outfit.

6) Clothes that iron themselves (without being made of cheesy polyester).

7) A manicure that doesn't chip until I get sick of the color.

8) Tickets to the 2012 London Olympics opening ceremonies. For that matter, tickets to any 2012 London Olympics event that's actually in London's Olympic Park will do (despite many crossed fingers and lengthy applications, we only managed to secure tickets to a semi-final football match at Cardiff Stadium in Wales).

9) 200 million votes to decide the 2012 US presidential election.

10) World peace.


Hey, I did say it was a wish list.