Yesterday my post on The Worst Valentine's Day Gifts Ever made it to BlogHer's home page and What's Hot section. It was such a nice feeling to log on to www.blogher.com and see it pop up, front and center! I hope people enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed researching and writing it (in fact, I still have to chuckle when I read it, even though I've read it like 465 times, because the products are so ridiculous)!
The funny thing is, the products on that post are just my Top 5, the ones I can't imagine anyone wanting. I did quite a bit of internet surfing to research the post, and found quite a few other Bad Valentine's Day gifts; I didn't include them because I realize one man's meat is another man's poison, so some people might actually find them sweet or funny. Besides, 5 is always a nice round number. So without further ado, here are some of my runners up for Worst Valentine's Day Gift Ideas:
|Kissy toilet paper --I've seen other versions too, some with hearts and others with words of love. This is like saying you're okay with wiping your ass on romance.|
|Knitted Willy Warmer --I can just imagine The Pea's grandmother knitting this little cozy for The Pea's grandfather!|
|Blow Job Undies -- It has a hole cut out in front, with stuffed lips surrounding the hole. I suppose it's the male version of crotchless panties, but sorry, what may be sexy to a man is not necessarily sexy to a woman.|
|Laser Heart Crystal --I think crystal paperweights are tacky as hell. Having your smiling faces etched into the crystal just makes it creepy. Can you believe it, this thing costs $139??|
Heart-shaped acrylic valentine plaque --This is the cheapo version of the previous item. It only costs $32.95, and you get free engraving. Wow, you get so much more tackiness per dollar!
|Dinner at White Castle --You get a candlelit table, waiters, music and a commemorative photo. And, oh, yeah, cheeseburgers and fries. I can see how this might be a lark for Harold & Kumar fans or penniless teenagers, but cheeseburgers?? You do need reservations and apparently they do fill up, so it must be quite a few people's idea of a romantic date. Perhaps it's the economy.|
While you're at it, check out the following Bad Gift Idea lists. They are hilarious -- one of them even has the chocolate scale that made my Worst Ever list (I found the list after I found the product, so great minds must think alike!):
* 10 Really, Really Bad Valentine's Day Gift Ideas (my favorite: the "Stupid, Ugly S**t")
* The Worst Valentine's Day Gifts Ever (my favorite: Richard Simmons' Sweatin to the Oldies DVD)
* 15 Gifts That Will Surely Piss Off Your Valentine (my favorite: the chocolate scale, of course!)
* Relationship Killers: The 12 Worst Valentine's Day Gifts Ever (my favorites: the nose clamp and pubic hair underwear )
Finally, here are the kids' choices for Worst Valentine's Day Gifts Ever:
The Pea: A banana
3Po: A sock
Jammy: Something girly, like nail polish
So there it is, all laid out for you. Everything you need to avoid in order to ensure a disaster-free Valentine's Day. Good luck!
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