Stress Test

Two more days till our big trip, and I'm starting to panic. I always know when I'm too stressed; all the signs are there:

10) I can't find my keys anywhere

9) I can't find my shoes anywhere

8) I stay awake at night reciting a mental list of things I need to do so that I can put it all down on paper the next day, only to forget the whole list when I wake up

7) The pile of clothing in the laundry rooms grows until I can no longer remember which piles are clean and which are dirty

6) My kids and husband avoid me

5) I painstakingly decorate our front porch with wreaths and garlands so it looks like someone is home while we're away, only to scream out loud to our neighbor when and where we're vacationing, so the whole neighborhood can hear.

4) I put the cereal box in the fridge and the milk in the cereal cabinet

3) I find myself obsessing about low-priority tasks such as looking up old friends on Facebook or taking my kids to a Christmas crafting event, anything to avoid the high-priority items like packing and cleaning the house before we leave.

2) I find myself going to Target every evening for something that I've forgotten, but must get immediately.

And the number-one sign that I am losing it....

1) I insist to my husband that we are prepared -- so prepared, in fact, that we have time to take my kids to ice-skating lessons three hours before our plane leaves the country

If you ever find yourself doing any of these things, take the advice of someone so stressed that she wishes she could use sedatives for the 14-hour plane ride -- on her, not her kids (surely a 4-year-old will not wander around the plane if you let him watch movies the whole time??) -- and Get Help!