Out of my way, grocery shoppers!

Maybe I'm getting my period soon. Maybe I've forgotten to take my thyroid pills once too often this past week. Maybe it was just hotter than usual yesterday, and all the sweltering and sweating had put me in a bad mood. Whatever the case, I had a perfectly miserable experience shopping at Trader Joe's. Every human suffering from an incurable case of rudeness and selfishness (myself excepted, of course) being seemed to be shopping there all at the same time.

My patience was stretched to the limit by people who rammed their carts into my ankle, people who poke and manhandle the fruits and vegetables like they're masseusses at a spa, people who decided they didn't want that wedge of Brie cheese and left it by the unrefrigerated cereal shelves so it would spoil and add to Trader Joe's inventory costs. Generally, grocery shoppers are a kind, polite bunch. Just my luck, then, that I happened to run into my top three shopper peeves:


** People who leave their shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot and let them roll into other people's cars. Last week the boys and I came out of Trader Joe's and found a shopping cart embedded in the hood of our minivan. Now we have a nice shopping-cart-handle-shaped dent. Come on, guys, it's not thaaaat far to the shopping cart parking place! The exercise will do you good!


** People who leave their trash in their shopping carts. Yes, I know it's nice to walk around Target sipping a supersized Slurpee and munching on a pretzel. I get it, it's like not being able to watch movies without popcorn and soda. But once again, it's not thaaaat far to the nearest trash can.


** People who write checks to pay for their stuff. Hey, have you seen that Visa Check Card commercial? You're holding up the line. It's the 21st century and they do have these things called check card or an ATM cards. They work just. like. your checkbook. Only faster.


Yeah, you know who you are. Do the considerate people a favor and stay away from Trader Joe's, ok? Or at least until I get off my high horse and out of this bad mood.