I'm a Bored Member

I do enjoy being on the board of my sons' preschool, really I do. I get some perks (small tuition and work requirement credits), I get to meet and talk to lots of parents, I get to see what goes on "behind the scenes", I get to deal with outside people and businesses as part of my board position. It really is a lot of fun.

Well, most of the time. Board members are required to attend a 90-minute board meeting every month. Not that that's a bad thing. First of all, I get to avoid the usual dinnertime-bath-bedtime scramble. And I enjoy listening to other board members' status reports and finding out what is happening. But inevitably, at some point in the evening, the discussion gets bogged down in minutiae such as the merits of one janitorial contract over another, things best taken offline. Last night, for instance, we spent 30 minutes debating the requirements for next month's bake sale (Should parents be required to actually bake? Can they buy pies from Safeway? Do bagels count?) . Aaaaargh.

Fortunately, the board meetings do have one consistently enjoyable item on the agenda, which they save for last (probably to make sure that everyone stays the whole time): the teachers take turns recounting funny things that have happened to the kids during the month. Some of them, such as these two gems from last night, could go on Art Linkletter's Kids Say the Darndest Things:

Scene 1: Teacher 1 is trying to get Boy 1 to join in some imaginative play.
Teacher 1: Why don't you come here and join us? We are playing "Weddings" and we need a groom.
Boy: Oh, no no no no no.... I don't want to be the groom. I'll just be the bartender.

Scene 2: Teacher 2 observes Boy 2 walking around with a watering can, occasionally stopping to pour some water on the ground.
Teacher 2: What are you doing?
Boy 2: I'm adding vodka.

It's stories like these that make the first hour worth sitting through.