A Lesson in Self-Defense

Warning: The following blog post contains strong sexual language and violence (but only if you're a bad stranger)

(This morning I overheard The Pea explaining to 3Po what he should do if ever a stranger tries to grab him)

Pea: ..... and Daddy said you have to KICK him in the winkie!

3Po: But what if the stranger is a girl?

(The Pea is stumped. After a few seconds of deep thought, 3Po answers his own question)

3Po: If it's a girl stranger, you have to kick their pee-pee.

Pea: Yeah, and that hurts even more than kicking winkies, because your winkie is soft and can swing around, but pee-pees are hard and they stay in one place. I hit my pee-pee once when I fell off my bike and it reaaaaaally hurt.

3Po: Yeah, so you have to kick girl strangers' pee-pees.

Pea: But strangers can be anyone you don't know! So you should only do that if the stranger is baaaad, and trying to hurt you, otherwise you'd be going around and kicking every girl strangers' pee-pee.